Get Good At Getting Rejected

“No.”

There I said it to you. How does it feel?

It probably feels just fine because you don’t even know what I said no to.

“We’ve had a high number of submissions and unfortunately at this time we regret to inform you that you weren’t selected.”

Okay, that one hurts a little more and frankly the voices in my head are always saying, “They’re lying about the high number of submissions. Really it was only two people and they just didn’t like you. You’re a failure.”

Well, those super annoying negative voices can pipe down!

Here’s the truth - when you work as a creative and are putting yourself out there daily you are going to get told “no” a lot.

There will be the outright rejections like above and then there’s the quieter ones - the silence to enquiries or the launching of a collection of paintings that are met with tumbleweed in sales.

So it’s important to come up with strategies to help you deal with the rejection because otherwise you’ll end up quitting.

In 2019 I came across Jia Jiang’s Ted talk “What I learned from 100 days of rejection”. I loved the talk. It’s really humorous so check it out if you haven’t seen it. In it he talks about his own fear of rejection and the decision that he would ask people to do different things for a hundred days. And he got rejected, which was good because it helped him learn about his reaction to rejection. He learned to embrace rejection, to not let it define him and by the end he learned to no longer fear rejection.

After watching I thought I’d do my own version of this. I decided I would apply for a hundred things related to art over the next year and see how it goes.

Here’s the thing - it’s three years later - and I still haven’t reached a hundred.

Why?

First let’s talk numbers - I’ve applied for 38 things in that time (open calls, Wild in Art trails, creative jobs of different sorts, funding).

I’ve had 23 rejections. I’ve also had 3 times were I was told “no” originally but they offered me something else instead. I have 2 that are currently waiting for answers.

And then there’s the 10 times where I’ve gotten a yes.

As you can see, it’s mostly rejection - and I’m okay with that.

Because when I do get a yes - it’s big. I stop applying to stuff because I have to take the time to fulfill the “yes”. Two of the most wonderful “yeses” have been when I started volunteering and later teaching with Cambridge Community Arts. Followed by getting DYCP funding which allowed me to have the space and time I needed as an artist to develop and grow over a year.

It doesn’t mean it’s always easy to get rejected - it isn’t. Especially if I get three or four rejections in a row. It sucks.

But here’s another tip - when I get rejected I buy myself a treat - a slice of cake, a coffee with a friend or a book. That’s the deal I have with me - if I’m brave and do it, then I get a treat if I get rejected.

And if it’s a big no for something I really, really wanted I give myself a full day to be grumpy and angry about it, I go on walks and tell myself how stupid those people who rejected me clearly are, and I buy myself a bigger treat.

But then I move on. I reassess and figure out what my next step is.

So don’t be embarrassed or feel alone or like you’re failing because every creative out there is getting rejected in one way or another - I guarantee it.

And when you get that rejection email - be kind - give yourself a pat on the back - hell, throw a party - because you deserve credit for putting yourself out there - for being brave and giving it a go.

So go forth and get rejected!!!!!