Emerging (Again)
Recently I applied for a residency that had the theme of emerging. I didn’t get it, but that’s okay. There will be other chances to apply again in the future. This time I was mainly proud that I finally had the confidence to even apply for this residency as previously I’d always thought my work wasn’t good enough.
However, I wasn’t ready to let the essay I wrote as part of the application stay hidden away in a rejections file because I really loved the essay I wrote and wanted to share it as I think it’s an important topic.
Here’s the essay:
Over the past two years I have learned something of what it means to emerge as an artist and a middle-aged woman.
One of my favourite interviews is of Betty Reid Soskin when she is 101 years old. It begins by her stating, “I have been so many women, so many different times. I’ve been a daughter, a mother, a business woman, a federal worker, I was 85 before I became a park ranger. I retired at 100. I’ve actually been so many things it’s hard to remember.”
In this interview about her life I think she is a beautiful example of how artists can approach their own art practice.
Modern life would have us focus on only one thing, to develop a visual voice that only encompasses one small part of who we are so that we can brand, market and sell it.
It doesn’t want to allow us the freedom to explore all the parts of ourselves so that we can build a stronger whole.
But the truth is we emerge again and again in our lives. Each time taking a part of what came before with us and thereby creating a more powerful life and art practice.
I know a little of what it means to emerge over and over. In my 20’s I lived in Japan, In my 30’s I’d moved to London in the name of love, by 35 I was widowed with an infant, by 40 I was studying illustration, by 50 I’d become a painter.
Each time I emerge stronger and braver - I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that I’m ready for it.
My time during the Skyboat Visual Arts Residency would be spent exploring some ideas that are beginning to emerge within my practice around the areas of asemic writing - as well as some stream of consciousness poetry that I’ve begun to monoprint as part of my painting process. Mainly I paint with cold wax and oils - exploring landscapes, ageing and decay. Recently I’ve started adding various writings but need to further explore this.
As I support myself and my family entirely it can be very tricky to explore works that feel more experimental. Works that I can’t directly understand how they might help bring financial stability. However, I also believe that it’s crucial to continue to explore and push myself as an artist in order to fully understand who I am, what my artwork is and its place in the world as more than something that is just hung on the wall for decoration.
I believe a residency at Marchmont will give me the time and space in order to really deeply explore the odd, the weird, the less commercial side of my painting practice.
Betty also asks, “What’s more important than life? The questions are the important things. Because each time you ask, you’ve grown so much from the last time you asked it. The answers are only temporary.”
And so I emerge and I emerge and I emerge and should I be so lucky as to make it to 101 years of age I hope to still be emerging.
And here’s a link to the interview with Betty: